1. Your kids can do much more than you think they can do. The next time your child tells you they can’t do something, step back and wait.
2. It’s not healthy to give your child constant feedback. It’s vital that children develop their own internal locus of approval and honest self-assessment.
3. We promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home if you promise not to believe everything your child says happens in our classrooms.
4. You children learn and act according to what you do, not what you say. You are your child’s first and best teacher, and they learn more from your actions rather than your words. When you tell your child that it’s rude to text during conversations or meals, yet you continue to read your email while pretending to give him your full attention, you are teaching him to distrust your words and your intent, while reinforcing the very behavior you seek to modify.
5. Teach your children that mistakes aren’t signs of weakness but a vital part of growth and learning. It’s what they do after they fail that matters. Help them see failure as part of the process, and the importance of learning how to begin again.
(Jessica Lahey, “The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed” – to be published in 2015 by HarperCollins)